{"id":119,"date":"2009-08-21T05:08:00","date_gmt":"2009-08-21T13:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.opinion.katrinasdream.org\/?p=119"},"modified":"2009-08-21T05:08:00","modified_gmt":"2009-08-21T13:08:00","slug":"embracing-the-silence-of-death-and-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.katrinasdream.org\/dreamscape\/embracing-the-silence-of-death-and-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Embracing the Silence of Death and Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
by George Swanson<\/div>\n


\nIntroduction<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

During the sixteen months that my wife was dying of colonic cancer I sort of fell into silent prayer.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, I was also pushed.<\/p>\n

I fell this way.\u00c2\u00a0 The hospice nurse told me always to sleep when Katrina did.\u00c2\u00a0 That way I would be rested and ready for action if we should have a bad night.\u00c2\u00a0 As it happened we only had two bad nights.\u00c2\u00a0 Thanks to the beautiful hospice care and the instructions we received on using the morphine, whenever she was asked what her pain level was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153from one to ten,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Katrina would always answer, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Zero.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 The morphine let her sleep maybe ten or fifteen hours a day.\u00c2\u00a0 So I got entirely enough sleep and often lay awake beside her.<\/p>\n

Fifty years earlier I had found the Jesus Prayer.\u00c2\u00a0 (Or it found me.)\u00c2\u00a0 Jesus Christ, child of God, have mercy on us sinners.\u00c2\u00a0 Lying beside Katrina and looking at the out-of-focus ceiling the Jesus Prayer would come echoing into my mind.\u00c2\u00a0 After some repetitions it would taper off into a pleasant silence.\u00c2\u00a0 I would find myself with a slight smile \u00e2\u20ac\u201c looking at the ceiling affectionately and peacefully.<\/p>\n

I was pushed in this way.\u00c2\u00a0 I had the good fortune to talk with Maggie Ross, the author of books on prayer and also how the church ought to shape up.\u00c2\u00a0 We had a great deal in common.\u00c2\u00a0 And yet she strongly criticized my attempts to pray certain prayers four times a day and repeat dozens and dozens of names asking G-d* to help them.\u00c2\u00a0 For two hours she urged me to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Put away the words!\u00c2\u00a0 Too many words.\u00c2\u00a0 Go into the silence.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 And so, except for public worship in church I have pretty much left all words behind.<\/p>\n

* In reference to the ineffable mystery behind the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153God\u00e2\u20ac\u009d some Jewish writers refer to G-d, replacing the letter \u00e2\u20ac\u0153o\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with a dash.\u00c2\u00a0 This helps us avoid the bearded-old-man in the sky.\u00c2\u00a0 We realize that the source and end of our life cannot be described in words or pictures.I will attempt to do three things:<\/p>\n

There seem to be no fixed rules \u00e2\u20ac\u201c over the centuries people have found different things work for different people.\u00c2\u00a0 Each of us can find our way to G-d who is always within us.\u00c2\u00a0 Jesus promised that Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth.<\/p>\n

I will attempt to do three things:
\n1)\u00c2\u00a0 Suggest ways to get into the silent place within us.
\n2)\u00c2\u00a0 Describe things one can do in the silence.
\n3)\u00c2\u00a0 Share some results people have found after being in silence.\u00c2\u00a0 I imagine the results will be different for all of us.<\/p>\n

1)\u00c2\u00a0 Getting into the Silent Place<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

At first it helps to go into the silence at the same time each day and in the same place.\u00c2\u00a0 Later on we may find it easy to enter our inner silence anywhere at any time.\u00c2\u00a0 We don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need silence outside.\u00c2\u00a0 I imagine one can enter silence on a noisy street or in a boiler factory.<\/p>\n

People have used just about any position: from sitting straight on the edge of a wooden chair to relaxing on one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bed.\u00c2\u00a0 Each of us will find what works.<\/p>\n

Breathing is not only necessary; it is a way G-d is always within us.\u00c2\u00a0 We can exhale \u00e2\u20ac\u201c slowly and gently, as much as possible \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and then, gently welcome the new breath deeper and deeper.\u00c2\u00a0 It is the rhythm of life itself.<\/p>\n

If you wish to begin by focusing on something \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a word, a candle, an icon \u00e2\u20ac\u201c be ready to leave it behind and move on into empty silence.\u00c2\u00a0 G-d is not in a crucifix, holy picture, flower, or even any idea of G-d.\u00c2\u00a0 All these things are created.\u00c2\u00a0 Ideas are created by our minds.\u00c2\u00a0 We are invited to focus on G-d who is not a created thing.\u00c2\u00a0 G-d is no thing.\u00c2\u00a0 So we embrace nothing.\u00c2\u00a0 We desire nothing.<\/p>\n

G-d is not defined by a three letter word.\u00c2\u00a0 G-d is beyond words.\u00c2\u00a0 Beyond definition.\u00c2\u00a0 Beyond theology or dogma.\u00c2\u00a0 Just like us.\u00c2\u00a0 We are also beyond words.\u00c2\u00a0 Our so-called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153personality\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is a mosaic of colors \u00e2\u20ac\u201c gaudy or grey \u00e2\u20ac\u201c having little or no relationship to who we really are in our deepest truth.<\/p>\n

Getting ready to go into the silent place is preparing to do nothing.\u00c2\u00a0 Silence is not an activity.\u00c2\u00a0 It has no agenda.\u00c2\u00a0 More like relaxing into being, into breathing, into peace.<\/p>\n

Paraphrasing Meister Eckhart, a teacher of prayer in the early 14th Century, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Your eyes looking at God are God\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes looking at you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n


\n2)\u00c2\u00a0 In the Silence<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

We can accept whatever \u00e2\u20ac\u0153interruption\u00e2\u20ac\u009d may come into our mind, notice it peacefully, and let it pass like weather around a solid mountain that cannot be moved.\u00c2\u00a0 Each of us is like Mount Zion \u00e2\u20ac\u0153which shall never be moved.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

All sorts of worries may come: regrets, resentments, dangers \u00e2\u20ac\u201c \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How could I have hurt my husband\/wife like that?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How could she\/he have hurt me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did I turn off the stove?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

They come and they go talking of Michelangelo.<\/p>\n

The Jesus Prayer \u00e2\u20ac\u201c or simply repeating \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jesus\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or a prayer word \u00e2\u20ac\u201c brings us gently back into the silent land.<\/p>\n

We are alive \u00e2\u20ac\u201c G-d and you \u00e2\u20ac\u201c G-d and I.\u00c2\u00a0 So we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to talk a about it, think about it, make words about it.\u00c2\u00a0 All we do is breathe.\u00c2\u00a0 All we do is be.<\/p>\n

It is a time when creative inspirations can come to mind.\u00c2\u00a0 If they are really gifts from G-d they will return when it is time for us to use them.\u00c2\u00a0 We don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to write anything down.\u00c2\u00a0 We are doing something more important now.\u00c2\u00a0 We are at the center of ourselves \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the center of Life \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the center of Love \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the center of G-d.\u00c2\u00a0 It is so beautiful to be oneself with the one who created us, who rejoiced to see us born, and who saw that we are good.<\/p>\n

3)\u00c2\u00a0 After the silence<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Some people find that their compassion increases for all life, for all creation, for enemies and friends, and even for oneself \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that person who is part of G-d.<\/p>\n

Priorities may become clearer \u00e2\u20ac\u201c what is important to do now and what can best be done later.<\/p>\n

One may begin to understand that G-d has everything in hand.\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153All shall be well.\u00c2\u00a0 And all manner of things shall be well.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 Julian of Norwich thought that was true.\u00c2\u00a0 I wonder if this is also true:\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153All is well.\u00c2\u00a0 And all manner of things is well.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 And even:\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153All has been well.\u00c2\u00a0 And all manner of things has been well.<\/p>\n

One may be less anxious.<\/p>\n

We may trust our judgment more.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, G-d is within us.\u00c2\u00a0 Do we have all the answers?\u00c2\u00a0 No, we are just like the Bible, the Creeds, and the Pope \u00e2\u20ac\u201c inspired and fallible.\u00c2\u00a0 And yet \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Emmanuel \u00e2\u20ac\u201c G-d is with us.<\/p>\n

It is a great joy to be oneself, alive, having gone into the silence of death and life itself.<\/p>\n

Notes on Embracing Silence and Peace<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n

When I was visiting St. Francis\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 House in New London\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s inner city, Emmett Jarrett and Anne Scheibner gave me a copy of Maggie Ross\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Fire in your Life\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to help me pray.\u00c2\u00a0 This led me to read Ross\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s other books.\u00c2\u00a0 When I offered Chilton Knudsen, the Episcopal Bishop of Maine, a copy of Ross\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Pillars of Flame\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she laughed and declined, saying she had a copy and had written on every page.\u00c2\u00a0 However she gave me Ross\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s email.\u00c2\u00a0 Emails led to a two hour conversation about prayer which moved me to spend time with G-d in silence rather than with any words.\u00c2\u00a0 Ross recommended \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Into the Silent Land\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Martin Laird, whom Ross had helped on his pilgrimage.\u00c2\u00a0 Laird\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s book is the basis of these thoughts on silent prayer.\u00c2\u00a0 Ross also recommended Beverly Lanzetta\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s On the Other Side of Nothingness which suggests that the mystics of all faiths are the only hope for world peace.\u00c2\u00a0 It is a great book, based partly on Meister Eckhardt.<\/p>\n

Praised by Archbishop Rowan Williams, Ross\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Pillars of Flame has just been republished by Seabury Press with an introduction by Desmond Tutu.\u00c2\u00a0 Ross sees that hierarchy, patriarchy and dogmatism are like the emperor \u00e2\u20ac\u201c no clothes.\u00c2\u00a0 I see hierarchy as a mental illness similar to the sickness of colonialism (as defined by psychologist and revolutionary Frantz Fanon in The Wretched of the Earth.)\u00c2\u00a0 If I wrote a jacket blurb for Pillars, it might be something like this:<\/p>\n

Maggie Ross reverses eighteen centuries of bad decisions by various vicars of Christ \u00e2\u20ac\u201c east and west \u00e2\u20ac\u201c mostly west \u00e2\u20ac\u201c by reviving Syrian theologians to replace Platonic and Aristotelian linear nonsense with Semitic theology; by exposing hierarchy as incompatible with Jesus’ self emptying; and by offering solitude and silence as an antidote to western Christianity’s tradition of violence and oppression. <\/em>
\nIn our chaotic lives how can we find the peace Jesus offers us?\u00c2\u00a0 Try a few minutes of the Jesus Prayer before drifting off to sleep, if wakeful during the night, and at occasional moments in the day.\u00c2\u00a0 This might give you brief visits into the silent land.\u00c2\u00a0 Finding this peace may be the most important things we can do for ourselves and for the people in our lives.\u00c2\u00a0 It may be the hope of the whole world.\u00c2\u00a0 And the reason Jesus came to earth.<\/p>\n

If you cared to contact me, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d enjoy sharing our experiences \u00e2\u20ac\u201c in conversation or in silence.<\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u201c George<\/em><\/p>\n

george@katrinasdream.org<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by George Swanson Introduction During the sixteen months that my wife was dying of colonic cancer I sort of fell into silent prayer.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, I was also pushed. I fell this way.\u00c2\u00a0 The hospice nurse told me always to sleep when Katrina did.\u00c2\u00a0 That way I would be rested and ready for action if we…
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